News Brief: Terrorist Attacks?

Well, Mom and Dad, as soon as you thought your daughter was safe and warm in her apartment in Paris, the New York Times broke this lovely little headline: “French Report New Threat of Terrorist Attack in Europe” .

Wonderful.

I am stranded in a foreign country, with no phone and no internet and no money, and the city in which I live is being threatened with terrorist attacks. The good news just never seems to end. And as if terrorist attacks aren’t bad enough, the srike is STILL going on. This means that my morning commute is more crowded and tedious than ever. The bill, which will be voted on in the Senate on Wednesday, will not be passed – Sarkozy will not give in – and my life will inevitably continue to be a living hell. At least it makes me realize how good it is to live in America. This must be how America produces such blatant and obnoxious patriots – we send them to foreign countries and make them realize how gosh darn awesome it is to be American. Not a bad tactic. Not bad at all.

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